"Vice...Virtue...It's not good to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. Except the weasels."

"Newpaper editors are men who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then print the chaff."

"A tart temper never mellows with age, and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use."

"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."

"The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life."

"If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport."

"#3546. Things happen according to the ordinary course of nature and the ordinary habits of life."

"Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths."

"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road."