"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"

"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches them tolerance."

"I'd rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in."

"The superior man...does not set his mind either for anything, or against anything; what is right he will follow."

"Are you to pay for all you have with all you are?"

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."